Scholarship Productivity Form Laws School

Thank you for being an IMPORTANT MEMBER of the University of Amazon!  We are a family here. We are a top-tier, cutting-edge research institution. We are eager for you to continue to be INNOVATIVE and amazing researchers. We care about the quality of your research! We’d like you to continue to research!

But before you do so, we need you to fill out this monthly form:
  1. Did you accept any publication offers last month? __Yes __ No
  2. Did you TRY to accept any publication offers last month? __Yes __ No
  3. Did you publish any books in the preceding month? __Yes __No
  4. Did you TRY to publish any books in the preceding month? __Yes __ No
  5. Did you publish any book chapters, updates, or supplements in the preceding month? __Yes __No
  6. Did you publish any articles in the preceding month? __Yes __No
  7. Did you TRY to publish any articles in the preceding month? __Yes __No
  8. Are you annoyed that we’re asking these questions in June? __Yes __No
  9. Did you publish any short pieces we won’t count for tenure but will happily submit to central campus in defense of our budget? __Yes __No
  10. Did you TRY to submit any short pieces we won’t count for tenure but will happily submit to central campus in defense of our budget? __Yes __No
  11. Did you publish any online pieces in the preceding month that we would ordinarily scoff at but will happily submit to central campus for budget purposes? __Yes __No
  12. Did you publish anything else that matters for purposes of budget that we won’t give a damned about for tenure purposes? Anything? __Yes __No
  13.  Did you TRY to do anything else that matters for purposes of budget that we won’t give a damned about for tenure purposes? Anything? __Yes __No
  14.  In the time between starting to fill out this survey and now, did something exciting happen that we can totally not give you credit for yet somehow show off to central campus for budget purposes? Anything? __Yes __No
  15.  How about now? __Yes __No
  16.  Now? __Yes __No
  17. Sorry, we forgot. Any top-tier law review publications? That’s really all we care about. __Yes __No
  18. Did you TRY to get any top-tier law review publications? __Yes __No
  19. If you didn’t answer YES to any question above, give us a few reasons you aren’t an oxygen sucker? Committee work and teaching overloads don’t count here (but thank you for serving!)  ______________________________________________.
  20. How many packages did you ship off today? ______
  21. Have you enhanced the social media profile of the university? How? Understand that this is for budget purposes only and not for tenure. _________________________.
  22.  Have you TRIED to enhance the social media profile of the University? __Yes __No
  23. Compared to last year at this time, your scholarship productivity increased by: __100% __50%  __25% __0% (Slacker).
Thank you for your submission! Please complete this form again in another 15 days (yeah, you ignored this for two weeks).
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